


Stay Up On That Rise

by kyewopen



Series: Stay Up On That Rise [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Anxiety, Coming Out, M/M, Paparazzi, TOPFL June Challenge, joshler - Freeform, solo artist! Tyler, vacation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:18:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyewopen/pseuds/kyewopen
Summary: Tyler was supposed to enjoy his vacation with Josh.He wasn't supposed to come out to the whole world like this.





	1. Chapter 1

_Day 1._

The audience applauds euphorically, and Tyler stays there, motionless, in the middle of the stage. Watching all those people squealing with delight has become a kind of routine for him, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling moved and overwhelmed every single time. It doesn’t stop him from being so grateful to every single person that helped him for making his biggest dream come true. 

He never thought he would make it this far. He never thought he would be able to perform in front of thousands of people. He never thought he would be able to make a living from his passion. And here he was, in front of a full venue, bringing an end to the biggest tour of his life. It is all so overwhelming, and Tyler still has a hard time figuring it all out.

He loves touring. He loves meeting new people, he loves travelling the world and discovering new places every single day. He’s been doing it for eight years now and he doesn’t plan to stop anytime soon. He wouldn’t trade this life for anything else.

Of course, being a celebrity isn’t always easy. It can be nerve-wracking, from times to times. It can be exhausting, but most importantly, it can be lonely, especially when you’re a solo artist. Tyler is lucky to have his musicians who are constantly following him on tour, but also his best-friend Mark who has become his official photographer two years ago. But sometimes, the feeling is just too strong. He’s always been very close to his family and even though he’s used to be away from them, he still doesn’t handle the distance very well. He’s only 24, after all, he’s still young, and sometimes pretty innocent, even.

He usually calls them very often, but he’s currently in Sydney and the time difference makes it more difficult. He misses them. And he misses his long-time boyfriend a little more. They're dating in secret for about two years now, Tyler was already quite famous when they started hanging out together. He thought that the distance and the time difference would be a deal breaker, but it only seemed to make them closer. Josh is working as an export manager in a big company and he’s always on the move, just like Tyler. This makes it even more difficult for them but they’re always making sure that they see each other at least once every month.

If you asked him, Tyler would say that their relationship work pretty well, but again, Tyler is the kind of person who would choose to hide his feelings and pretend that everything is fine just to avoid an argument. Of course, it’s not always easy. Some days are harder. And today is one of those days.

Tyler is taking a seat in the tour-bus and is soon laying down on his bunk, sighing. They decided to take a one-week vacation in Australia and Josh is supposed to join him in Sydney in two days, but he can’t help but to feel horribly alone. His crew, Mark included, is living the day after, and he perfectly knows he doesn’t handle being on his own very much. And so he does the only thing that comes to his mind and decides to call Josh, who answers almost instantly.

‘Hey sweetheart, how are you doing?’ Josh asks, and Tyler can’t stop himself from smiling as soon as he can hear his boyfriend’s voice.

‘Fine. I’m tired. You’re still in Russia?’

‘Still am! I had a meeting with my clients and I’m heading back to the hostel, now. How was the show? How are you feeling?’

Tyler smiles at him for a few seconds, Josh knew that it was the last date of the tour and he also knows that it always makes him feel more emotional than usual, and Tyler is moved that this one remembered.

‘Yeah, I… I’m officially on hiatus now. And… I don’t know. It just feels weird, I… I’m already worried about the new album, and-’

‘Ty, don’t think about it now, alright? You deserve some rest. You’ve been tiring yourself out for the past year, I really think you should take a long break.’

‘Yeah but what if the-’

‘They’ll understand.’ Josh instantly answers, knowing his boyfriend was about to mention the fans. ‘They will, Tyler. They’re so involved and loyal, trust me, they’ll wait for you, no matter how long you take to release the next album.’ He adds. ‘Plus, I wouldn’t mind having you all for myself for a while. I’m kinda sick to have to share you with the rest of the world.’ He says, smiling.

‘I love you.’ Tyler simply answers.

‘I love you too, sweetie.’

‘I feel so alone right now, I… I wish you could be there, already.’ Tyler adds with a small voice, he’s not used to talk about his feelings, but he knows he doesn’t have to say more to make him understand how he really feels.

‘I know, sweetheart.’ Josh answers. ‘And I couldn’t wait any longer either.’

‘What do you mean?’ Tyler asks, confused.

‘I think you should go outside.’ Josh simply says, and quickly hangs up.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ Tyler says after a while, to no one in particular.

He stands up and frowns when Mark looks at him with a large smile on his face. He makes his way towards the entrance of the tour bus and doesn’t have to say anything that Michael is already opening the door for him. He goes down the few steps and looks around; it takes him a few seconds to understand that Michael just parked the tour bus next to the bus station.

The streets are quite empty, Tyler can still see some people getting on buses until his eyes fall on the man who was only supposed to join him in two days. He opens his eyes wide and stays motionless for a few seconds, and as Josh takes a few steps towards him, he finally realizes that his boyfriend really took a plane earlier than expected and a large smile appears on his face. And when he sees that no one seems to pay attention to him, he starts running towards his boyfriend to throw himself in his arms. He crosses his legs behind his boyfriend’s back and wraps his arms around his neck whereas Josh has put his under his thighs. Both of them have huge smiles on their faces and Tyler doesn’t waste any time to crash their lips together.

‘What are you doing here?’ Tyler asks with a smile, after a few seconds, while Josh is letting him go.

‘My last meeting got cancelled and I just missed my boyfriend too much.’

Tyler doesn’t answer anything and just kisses him once again. It’s been more than a month since they didn’t see each other. Tyler was busy touring in Asia, and then in Australia, and Josh himself had a few business trips that he definitely couldn’t miss.

‘Hey Tyler… Maybe you shouldn’t be too affectionate in public.’

Tyler isn’t out yet, there are many rumors concerning his sexuality, but Tyler has never made an official statement about it nor his relationship with Josh. People just think he’s a friend of him. Not that he is ashamed, he just doesn't know if he's ready to face the consequences that such a statement could provoke.

‘There’s nobody there, Josh. Plus you’re hot, why would I want to hide you from the world?’ Tyler asks, smiling.

Josh laughs at this, holding Tyler’s hand as they make their way inside the tour bus.

Neither of them sees the paparazzo taking pictures of them at the corner of the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what to think about this fic. I wanted to post it as a one shot at first, but it was already 11000 words long so I decided to do a chaptered fic instead. Chapters will be quite short, sorry about that. Hope you'll like it :)
> 
> Please tell me what you think!!
> 
> (I'm getting crazy over their cryptic shit on the dma website, anyone feels the same? I just really want them to come back)


	2. Chapter 2

_Day 2._

 

Tyler wakes up in Josh’s arms, in the same hotel room. This one is still quietly sleeping next to him, and Tyler’s fingers are playing with the roots of his black hair. He feels strangely at peace and he finds himself being happy to be officially on hiatus, because it means he now can spend as much time as he wants with the beautiful man facing him.

He smiles at himself for a few seconds and takes his cell phone, opening his eyes wide when he sees 32 missed calls, and just as much emails. He knows it can only mean that something important happened and he can already feel the beatings of his heart speeding up against his chest. He takes a deep breath and decides to go on Twitter to see how bad it is, and the first picture he can see makes him lose his breathe completely. It’s him, with Josh, kissing. In the middle of this bus station.

Not that he should be surprised, he should have suspected it, he hasn’t been very careful the night before. He has just convinced himself that nothing like this would happen because they haven’t been very discreet about their relationship and yet, no one has seemed to notice anything. Until now. His notifications are on fire, but it’s this tag that draws his attention. It was predictable, and Tyler has prepared himself to face this kind of things for years, but it didn’t hurt any less.

_#TylerJosephIsAFaggot_

It’s only five words, but it’s enough for Tyler to feel this panic going through his whole body, making it harder for him to breathe properly. The muscles of his throat have tightened, and Tyler slowly makes his way to the bathroom and lets his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes to try and calm himself down. He tries to do the breathing exercises Josh has taught him and he slowly looks back at his screen. These five words are still there, and Tyler decides to go through the tag to see the extent of the damage. Some tweets are awful, some people threaten him, and others just tell him they’re disappointed. But most of them are supporting tweets that still makes the tag even more popular. Tyler is a little bit relieved for a few seconds but then, the anxiety is coming back at full speed when he sees that most of the calls come from his manager. Others are from his family, or Mark, and Tyler quickly decides to call him, knowing this one can be weirdly smart and clairvoyant when it comes to this kind of things.

Mark picks up almost instantly.

‘Tyler, before you freak out, I-’

‘Mark, oh my god, it’s all over the internet. It’s all over the fucking internet, and Twitter… Everybody knows. Oh my god, everybody knows. Will tried to call me ten times, he’s going to kill me, oh god-’

‘Okay, Tyler. Take a deep breathe. It’s going to be okay. Try to calm down a bit.’

‘How can I fucking calm down Mark, how could I’ve been so stupid? And Josh… Josh, he warned me, but I… God, he’s going to be so mad and… He’s going to leave me, and Will is going to fire me, Mark, I-’

‘Stop talking!’ Mark yells and Tyler jumps with surprise, not expecting this kind of outburst from his friend. ‘Tyler, you’re going to stay quiet, and you’re going to listen to me, okay?’

‘O-okay.’ Tyler says, with a shaky voice.

‘Josh is not going to leave you. The man loves you and I’m pretty sure he’s even going to blame himself for all of it. Will won't stop being your manager just because of this picture, he’s not a jerk. As for the label, think about all the other artists, they’re going to defend you, and you know that just as much as I do. And as for Twitter… Some people are being assholes, and you knew it would happen, Tyler, but you know what? All I can see is support, and love. There are thousands of people out there who are defending you, Tyler. Your fans won’t go anywhere. And I know it’s probably not the good time to say this, but the picture is pretty cute, you know.’

Tyler lets out a small laugh at this and lowers his head, closing his eyes as one of his hands is going through his hair in a regular manner.

‘Thanks.’ Tyler simply says.

‘Where is Josh? Is he with you?’ Mark asks.

‘Yeah. I mean, he’s still sleeping.’

‘Okay. Then, you’re going to hang up, you’re going to wake him up, and you’ll figure this out. Together. I’m here if you need me. Always.’

‘Th-thanks, Mark.’ Tyler says, before pressing the red phone on the screen of his phone. 

He stays there, on the bathroom’s floor, for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. He doesn’t know where to start. Should he call his family, first? Should he call his manager? Should he post something on the social medias? Should he stay silent about the whole thing? He has no clue what he should do first, and he’s terrified. He’s still young, and there was already so much pressure on his shoulders since he became famous in the entire world, he wasn’t ready to face this just yet. But the press and the gossip magazines never really care about it, and Tyler, such as many other artists, has to learn that the hard way. He’s trying really hard to breathe but his muscles of his throat have tightened so much he can feel he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

He quickly stands up and does what Mark has just suggested him to do. He opens the door of the bathroom and makes his way towards the bed where Josh is still sleeping. Though Tyler just needs to take a seat that this one already yawns while slowly opening his eyes at the same time. He has no idea what is waiting for him and Tyler wishes he could hide all of it from him. Because he doesn’t deserve any of it.

Josh quickly sits up straight and the small smile on his face quickly disappears when he sees the tired face and the puffy eyes of his boyfriend.

‘What’s wrong, sweetie?’ He says with such a gentle voice that it only makes Tyler burst into tears again. ‘Hey no… Don’t cry. What’s going on?’ He asks.

Josh wraps his arms around his back and pulls him closer, placing one of his hands on Tyler’s hair. This one is still crying, and tries to focus on his presence, hoping that all of it is just a dream and that he’s going to wake up in a few minutes.

‘Josh, I’m… I’m so sorry.’ He says, in-between sobs. ‘I’m so sorry, I should have… I should have been more careful, I… It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.’ He can’t stop repeating these four words over and over again because he knows that the picture can hurt Josh's career too. And maybe he’s just overreacting but he just can’t think clearly.

‘Hey, Ty… Please, breathe. You’re going to be okay, whatever this is.’ Josh adds.

‘I’m sorry…’ He says and takes another deep breath. He only really wants to burst into tears once again, but he knows Josh must be scared and this one is entitled to some explanations. ‘I… Some people must have taken a picture of… A picture of us, and… It’s all over the internet, Josh, oh god, it’s all over the internet, and I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I know you asked me to be more careful and I should have… I should have listened to you but… But I didn’t and now everybody knows and it’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.’ He says and breaks down in tears another time.

‘Oh Tyler, it’s okay.’ Josh answers, smiling, with tears in his eyes. ‘It’s okay. You’ll be okay.’

Tyler looks at him, dumbstruck. He has expected him to get angry, to get mad at him, to reproach him for not having paid enough attention, but instead, this one is only watching him and as he looks at him in the eye, all he can see is love, and support.

‘How can… How can you be so okay with everything, J? I… It was my fault, and I… All those people, Josh, they… Will called me, and my family is freaking out and the fans… What if they get mad, what if they leave? And you… You can be hurt by all of this too, and I… Oh god, I never meant for this to happen, I’m… I’m sorry. I… I’ll understand if you want to… If you want to leave or-’

‘Hey, hey, hey, Tyler.’ Josh answers. ‘Look at me.’ He adds, while placing his two hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks, waiting for him to raise his head before continuing. ‘I’m right there. And I’m not going anywhere. Do you want to know why I’m okay?’ He asks, and Tyler nods for a few seconds. ‘Because I knew this would happen. We both knew it would happen at some point, Tyler. And it’s okay. We’re going to be okay. Maybe it will be hard during the first few weeks, but your fans won’t go anywhere, and you’ll go on being the smart, deep and amazing song-writer you are. And I’ll be right by your side, the whole time. Okay?’

‘O-okay.’ Tyler says with a shaky voice.

‘Come here, sweetheart.’ Josh says, holding him in his arms the next second. ‘You’re going to be okay. I promise.’

Tyler stays quiet for a few minutes, not knowing what to say. Josh has always been so clear-sighted and it’s crazy how fast he can reassure him and make him feel that the whole situation is actually not that bad.

‘Josh?’ Tyler asks, unsure.

‘Yeah?’

‘What should I do, first? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, it’s all so… So sudden and I can’t… I can’t think clearly, and I’m… I’m so scared.’

It’s not rare for Josh to be involved in Tyler’s career, he often helps him in his creative process, playing the drums in a few of his songs. Sometimes, Tyler almost feels like they’re a band, that’s why he’s always asking him for advice.

Josh says nothing for a few seconds and suddenly takes a sheet of paper and a pen, before looking up at him.

‘What do you think you need to do?’

‘Call my family, I guess.’ Tyler says, and watches Josh as he’s writing it on the piece of paper. ‘Call Will. I think it’s the most important thing, he’s probably angry. I don’t know. Post something on the social medias… Maybe Instagram. To… To keep the fans updated… They deserve some explanation. And… I don’t know… Should I… Should I say something to the press? Should I talk about it in an interview? I… No. I don’t have to do that. Screw them.’ He adds and laughs when Josh gives him the piece of paper. He already feels more at peace, seeing everything written down.

_Call the fam_

_Call Will_

_Post something on the social medias (Instagram?)_

_Fuck the press/journalists._

‘I love you.’ Tyler tells him, smiling, and Josh just smiles back at him, pressing his lips against his for a few seconds.

‘What do you think you’re capable of doing, today?’ Josh asks.

‘I… I don’t know. I… I’m lost. I don’t feel like I’m ready to do anything.’

‘Then you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to leave your phone in this hotel room and we’re going to enjoy our first day of vacation in Sydney, together. How does that sound?’

‘That sounds perfect.’ Tyler says, smiling, before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, placing his chin on his shoulder. ‘Thank you.’

‘Always.’

And as they spend the entire day chilling and visiting the city, Tyler almost finds himself forgetting about all of this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite satisfied with this chapter, but I guess it'll have to do. I really hope you liked it, don't hesitate to tell me what you think, as always!
> 
> Btw, I forgot to tell this in the first chapter's notes, but the title is obviously coming from High Hopes by Panic! cause I may be completely obsessed with this new song! If you haven't listened to it yet, do it now!


	3. Chapter 3

_Day 3._

Tyler is seated on the beach, his feet buried in the sand, as he watches people swimming. Josh went surfing for an hour and eventually came back to lay down next to him, enjoying the sun. Tyler has never been a huge fan of the ocean, he likes watching the waves crashing on the sand, he likes the sound of it, but he’s always been scared of swimming in these vast expanses of water.

He’s trying to stay calm and positive, but the dread is still there, present, somewhere in the back of his mind. He knows he would eventually have to deal with everything, but Josh convinced him to ignore it for a little more and to follow him there for the afternoon. He knows this one only wants him to relax but he just doesn’t know if postponing what needs to be done is the best solution, and most importantly, he doesn’t understand how this one can be so calm about the whole thing. He should be freaking out, he should be scared just like Tyler is, but instead, he’s just laying down on the sand, as if this picture has never been taken.

‘I don’t get it.’ Tyler says, confused.

‘Get what?’ Josh answers, his eyes still closed.

‘I don’t get how you can be so okay with everything.’

‘Tyler, we’ve talked about this.’

‘But there’s a fucking picture of us kissing in the streets, Josh! It’s all over the internet, and you’re just here… You’re just sitting there, doing nothing!’ Tyler says, and his voice is much harsher than he’d intended. ‘Do you at least care about all of this?’

‘Of course I care!’ Josh answers, loudly. ‘I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to you! Yes, there’s a picture of us kissing, so what? We’re just two guys being in love, and I don’t know you, but I was sick to hide all the fucking time and not being able to say that we’re together! Why are you so fucking angry?’

‘I’m not angry, I’m just scared, Josh! It’s my fucking career we’re talking about, not just some random job like yours! You don’t realize how bad it can be, being gay in the music industry, it could… It could destroy everything I worked so hard to build, so maybe you should think about it before telling me I’m just being too emotional!’

Tyler yelled the last few words, and he knows he just crossed the line when Josh is looking at him with wide eyes, speechless.

‘Josh, I’m sorry.’ He instantly says. ‘I didn’t mean to-’

‘Now you know what? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear this. Can you at least hear yourself talking, Tyler? We’re not in the middle ages. People are way more open minded than you give them credit for. I know it can be hard, I know it could hurt your career, and don’t ever try to tell me I don’t care about this. Because I do. Care. I know how important it is for you. I care  _so fucking much_ , and you know that just as much as I do. I’ve always cared. But did you at least think about what it was like for me? About what I could feel? I wasn’t completely happy. With how things were. Seeing you, in these interviews, claiming that you’re single, or flirting with some chicks just to pretend you’re not currently dating this poor guy working for some random company. But I understood, Tyler. I understood why you felt obligated to act like this, so I didn’t say anything, I suck it up and I stayed quiet for all those years. Because I wanted you to be happy, and I sure as fuck didn’t want to hurt your career.’

‘Josh, I’m sorry.’ Tyler says, crying, and becoming more and more aware of how selfish he’s become.

‘And this picture, Tyler, this picture you hate so much, it could hurt me too. And I’m fucking scared too. I don’t know If I’m ready to face all the pressure and all the attention that goes along. So, to answer your question: No. No, I’m not okay with everything but I try to be because I’m just glad I’ll be able to call you my boyfriend from now on, that if only you still want us to be together! Because we can break up, if you want. We could break up, that would make everything so much easier for you, right?’

‘Josh, stop… Stop it. Don’t say that. Of course I want us to be together, I… I love you.’

‘And I love you too.’ Josh says. ‘I do. So much. And I’m willing to make this works and to get through all of this with you, but I think you should be the one thinking about everything you just told me, because you’ve just acted like a selfish prick.’

Tyler stays motionless for a few minutes, looking at Josh. This one looks so angry and Tyler knows that no matter what he says to him, no matter how hard he tries to apologize, nothing would make him look any better. Josh has every right to be mad at him, and Tyler can feel a wave of guilt descends upon him. Because he realizes now, how selfish he’s been during these past two years. He was always paying so much attention to what people were saying about him, always trying to look good, to meet everyone’s expectations, to bend in with the crowd, trying not to make any waves. But he was only thinking about himself, about the well-being of his career, completely neglecting Josh in the process.

Tyler watches Josh as he walks away from the beach. He knows that now is not the time to try and put things right. There’s no need to get himself noticed any more than he already did. He’s looking around and chooses to ignore the few people who already recognized him. He stands up and goes around the beach a few times, looking for Josh. Once he’s sure this one is nowhere to be seen, he sighs and turns around, heading in the direction of their hotel. He wishes he could call Josh and asks him to come back, but he left his phone in his room this morning and he knows that his boyfriend probably needs some alone time to try and calm down a bit.

He’s far away from the hotel but still decides to go back on foot, so he can have some time to think about what he should do next. He knows Will is probably going to be angry at him for ignoring his calls for two days, his family too. But right now, he needs to focus on Josh, and try to fix things between them. That’s his top 1 priority.

As he gets closer to the main entrance of the hotel, some fans are already waiting for him. Tyler has no idea how they’re doing to figure out where he’s staying at, but he doesn’t question it anymore. He smiles at them, takes a few pictures, ignoring the questions about the picture and makes his way inside the hotel. When he gets inside his room, it’s already 9:30pm and Josh isn’t back yet. He quickly takes his phone and sighs when he sees there are even more missed calls from his manager and his family, but none from Josh. He changes into his pjs and sits on the bed, deciding to text his mother.

‘ _Mom, I’m okay. We all knew it would happen at some point, but it probably wasn’t the way you had imagined your son to come out to the whole world, and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.’_

He sits there for a while and tries to call Josh but sighs when he can hear his phone ring against the bedside table. He quickly gets to his feet and paces up and down in his hotel room, his hands going through his hair, nervously. He looks through the window, hoping to see Josh going up the street but bites his lower lip when all he can see is the rain lashing down through the city and his fans who still seem to be waiting for him. He jumps with surprise when the door of his room is being wide opened and Tyler rushes towards Josh to wrap his arms around his shoulders

‘Tyler… I’m drenched.’

‘I don’t care.’ He says, burying his face in the crook of his neck. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ He whispers and panics when all he can feel is the motionless body of Josh. This one doesn’t say anything and doesn’t even hug him back. He’s just standing there, quiet, and immobile, as if he doesn’t even want to be there. Tyler starts crying again and takes a few steps backward, so he can look at him in the eye, but Josh just turns around and takes his stuff before locking himself in the bathroom.

‘Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god.’ Tyler is still pacing up and down in the room and his face is contorted with fear. He can feel his heart pounding in his entire body and the muscles of his throat tightening as he tries to hold back his sobs. He’s scared, and his hands are shaking and he’s losing his breath.

He doesn’t know for how long he’s walking back and forth in his room, he’s too panicked to count the minutes passing by. Suddenly, he can hear the bathroom’s door being unlocked and he can feel the panic rising up in his chest. He’s gasping for air and he lets himself slip against the wall, placing his two shaking hands on his face.

‘I’m sorry.’ He says. ‘I’m sorry.’ He repeats. ‘I’m so sorry. I… I know I’ve been selfish. I didn’t mean to say all those horrible things to you and I know you care. Of course, you care. You’ve always cared and I’m just… I’m a terrible boyfriend and you deserve so much more. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you, I’m sorry I haven’t been good enough, I… I’m just a coward but I… I promise, I’ll make things right. I’ll fix it. I promise. But please, don’t leave me. Don’t go away. I… I need you.’

He’s a mess. He’s crying, and he can’t control his breathing and he feels like his whole world is crashing down. The silence is killing him, and Tyler doesn’t dare looking up at Josh, because he’s afraid that once he does, all he’ll be able to see is indifference.

‘Say something!’ Tyler says, loudly. ‘Anything, please.’ He adds. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ He repeats these words over and over again until he can feel two arms holding him, and Tyler just breaks down in tears once again, unable to stop the sobs that are coming out of his mouth.

‘Tyler… Tyler, please, look at me.’ Josh says, and Tyler slowly looks up at him, scared. ‘I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry I lashed at you like this, it wasn’t fair.’

‘Don’t you dare apologize. It’s on me. All of this, it’s on me. During these past two years, I… I was taking this relationship for granted and it was wrong. I was so wrong. I promise I’ll be better.’ Tyler says, his voice a little clearer.

Tyler is wrapping his arms around his neck once again and lets Josh guide him to the bed. He lays down and huddles against him. Josh turns his head to the side and places one of his hands on his cheek, before pressing their lips together, slowly. Tyler kisses him back and lets out a small whimper when Josh bites his lower lip to deepen the kiss.

‘I’m sorry.’ Tyler says, in between kisses. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Josh answers, kissing him one more time. ‘Now, sleep. We’ll start to deal with this tomorrow.’

Tyler smiles at him for a few seconds and places his head in the crook of his neck, pressing his lips on his chest a few times.

‘I really am sorry, Josh.’ He says, whispering. ‘I’ll treat you better, I promise. I guess… I guess the fame went to my head a little bit. And I’m not trying to find excuses for myself. Everything you said… It was true. Maybe it was a bit harsh, but I deserved this. I guess I’m just scared of everyone’s reactions. You know I’ve always cared of what people think of me. But… But you’re a part of me, Josh. And you’ve made me so happy, you still do. And I’m glad people will finally see that. Because I wouldn’t be half the man I am if it wasn’t for you. I love you. And I’m sorry.’

For a few seconds, neither of them says anything and then Josh finally lets out a sigh before placing one of his arm around his hips to pull him closer.

 ‘I know you’re sorry, sweetie. I’m not mad.’

‘You’re too good for me.’

‘I won’t argue with that.’  Josh says, and Tyler laughs a little at this.

‘Did you see the picture?’ Tyler asks, curious.

‘No. I haven’t been on the internet since yesterday morning. Did the paparazzo at least did a good job?’

‘Oh yes. We’re cute.’ Tyler answers, smiling. ‘Although every picture of you is a good picture.’

‘You’re already forgiven, Tyler, don’t try to wheedle me by being cheesy.’

‘Fair enough. Good night, Jishwa.’ Tyler says, before closing his eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :) I'm going to try and finish this fic in June but no promises... I started my summer-job and it's killing me, mentally and physically. See you soon (hopefully) :)


	4. Chapter 4

_Day 4_

When Tyler wakes up the next morning, Josh is still fast asleep next to him. He stays there, just looking at him and a small smile eventually appears on his face. Josh has always been too good for him, that’s a fact, and he doesn’t quite understand how this one managed to put up with him for these past two years. His smile only gets bigger when Josh starts mumbling, still asleep. A few strands of his hair have fallen over his forehead and Tyler replace them behind his ear with his hand and repeats the gesture a few times.

‘M’s still tired.’ Josh says, whispering.

‘Then go back to sleep, Jish.’ He answers, kissing him on the nose.

Tyler doesn’t look away and covers Josh with the sheet. It’s hot outside, but the air conditioner is on, which makes the room a lot colder and Tyler is too lazy to get up and adjust the temperature.

‘Stop stalking me.’

‘I’m not!’ Tyler says, smiling.

‘I know you’re watching me sleep.’ Josh adds.

‘Yeah. But you’re such a cute napper.’ And Tyler’s smile only gets bigger when a small laugh escapes Josh’s lips. His eyes are still closed, though, and Tyler bends forward to kiss him on the lips a few times, before moving aside to let him sleep some more. He knows his job is stressful and that the past few weeks have been nerve-wracking for him, and Tyler really wants him to rest.

He quickly orders a meal-tray for breakfast and decides to get up after a while. He locks himself in the bathroom and spends a long time in the shower, trying to mentally prepare himself for what’s about to happen. He decided to call his parents first, and even though they were both aware of his relationship with Josh, it doesn’t stop him from feeling nervous about the conversation that awaits him.

When he gets out of the bathroom, Josh is sitting on the bed, a huge food-tray placed in front of him. Tyler smiles largely at him and takes a seat next to him before kissing him another time.

‘You didn’t have to do all that, Ty.’

‘I know. But I wanted to. I wanted to make you feel good.’

‘You know there are much simpler ways to do that.’ Josh answers in a suggestive voice, and Tyler can’t help but to let out a small laugh.

‘Oh yeah? And what do you have in mind?’

‘Oh, I think you know.’ Josh says and Tyler smiles and places himself on his laps.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.’ He adds, before pressing his lips against Josh’s.

They just share lazy kisses during a few minutes until it slowly becomes something more, and for the first time in weeks, Tyler feels at peace. With himself, and with the world around him. He feels safe, and at home. Of course, there have been many moments like this one in the past, they’ve been a lot of heated nights and sweet gestures between the two of them, but it feels to Tyler that this, right now, what they’re sharing, means so much more. It’s a promise, a mutual engagement that neither of them is going to leave, that neither of them is going to give up on the other one.

And it doesn’t matter who decides to lead this moment into something more, what’s important is that they don’t have to share any words to know what the other is feeling. There’s an understanding, a silent oath between the two of them, and Tyler is in love. He’s never been more in love before and as Josh whispers sweet nothings into his ear, he knows he’s never going to let go of this relationship. No matter what gets in the way, no matter what people will say, no matter how bad his career is hurt, he’ll hold on.

Josh is his anchor, his lifeboat when nothing makes sense anymore, and it’s the first time in his whole life that someone shows him that much amount of love, that someone really cares. And it’s not just sex to him, it’s a series of silent ‘I love you’, it’s a proof of deep affection, it’s an act of love.

For a moment, all he can think of is the presence of Josh all around him. For a moment, this picture and the pressure are forgotten, until he finally comes down of his high. Then, he remembers, and he’s still scared, but he also knows that no matter what gets in his way, everything is going to turn out fine, as long as Josh sticks around.

He’s laying down on his bed, Josh besides him. This one is kissing his shoulder gently and Tyler looks up at him, only to see him smiling.

‘What do you want to do, today?’ Josh whispers, and there is not the slightest judgement in his voice. He’s just being genuinely curious, he’s not trying to push him, he’s not putting additional pressure on him. He’s just asking.

‘I… I think I’m going to call my parents. My mom must be freaking out right now. And… And then, maybe I’ll call Will.’

‘Hey, there’s no rush, alright? One step at a time.’

‘Yeah.’ Tyler answers with a low voice, staring at the ceiling. ‘I’m gross. We should take a shower. Next time maybe warn me, I had just taken one.’

‘You’re seriously complaining about what just happened?’ Josh says, frowning.

‘No, I’m not.’ He answers, smiling shyly.

‘I love how you can go from being the sexiest and most self-confident person I’ve ever seen to the shy and blushing mess you are right now.’

‘Shut up.’ He says, blushing even more. Josh lets out a small laugh at this and kisses him on the lips for a few seconds before getting up and helping him do the same, leading him to the bathroom.

Soon enough, they’re back on their bed, and start eating the breakfast Tyler has ordered an hour ago. He doesn’t realize he’s hungry until he takes a bite of the fried eggs placed on a plate right in front of him. He was too scared and anxious the day before to even think about eating something. And now Josh is here, he certainly feels better but the knot in his stomach is still there.

‘How do you think your family will take it?’ Josh asks, rubbing his shoulders.

‘I don’t know.’ Tyler admits with a sigh. ‘I mean… It’s not my brothers and sister's reactions I’m scared of. They’ll be fine. I guess my dad will be okay with everything too, but…’

‘Your mom?’

‘Yeah. She had a hard time accepting my bisexuality and… I don’t know, she’s really proud of my career, of where I’m at. And these things will affect her. I mean… She likes you. She really does.’ Tyler adds. His mom and Josh had met a few times and this one is pretty much getting along with everyone easily, so it wasn’t a surprise that his mom immediately liked him too. ‘She’s just… I wouldn’t be surprised if she wants me to protect my career at all costs.’

‘When do you want to call her?’

‘I don’t think I can wait much longer. Cause this will only make me more scared than I already am.’

‘Let’s get it over with, then.’ Josh answers, taking Tyler’s phone and handing it to him.

Tyler nods and quickly unlocks his phone, taking a deep breath before pressing his finger on his mom’s number and putting her on speaker. He doesn’t want to hide anything from Josh. Whatever is said between him and his mom, he wants Josh to be a part of it, even if this one doesn’t intervene.

‘I’m right there, Tyler.’ Josh says when Tyler’s hands start shaking.

‘Tyler?’ His dad tells as soon as he picks up the phone. Tyler didn’t expect his dad to pick up but he doesn’t say anything about it. ‘Thanks god, we’ve been worried sick.’

‘Hey dad.’

There is no going back, now. And for a while, neither of them say anything and Tyler is afraid to speak up first, but then he quickly locks eyes with Josh and finds the strength he needs to start talking.

‘How… How are you doing?’ He asks.

‘How do you think I’m doing, Tyler?’ And he flinches when he hears the angry voice of his father. ‘Two days ago, I wake up and finds out that my own son hit the headlines because of some picture. How do you think that made me feel? We tried to call you a thousand times!’

‘I’m sorry, dad, I… I should have called sooner. I just needed time to… To clear my head, you know, figure out what I should do.’

‘And it didn’t cross your mind that calling your parents may be a way to start?’ His dad says, and Tyler can already feel the muscles of his throat tightening. And he surely would have already broken down in tears if Josh wasn’t there, tracing small patterns in the back of his neck, reminding him that he’s right there, with him.

‘I’m sorry, I was just… I was just scared. I’m sorry about the picture, and I get why you’re disappointed but dad-’

‘Disappointed?’ His dad says, much calmer. ‘Tyler, I’m not disappointed. I’m just mad. I’m mad at you for not calling us sooner. I was worried, and so angry at everyone for calling you out on this.’

‘So… You’re not mad? You’re not mad about… About the picture? You don’t blame me?’

‘Tyler, of course I don’t blame you.’ His dad says, gently. ‘Why would I do that?’

‘I don’t know.’ Tyler answers with a broken voice. His eyes are full of tears and he runs one of his hands through his hair, trying to stay calm. ‘I don’t know, I guess I could have been more careful and… It’s really not the way I wanted to come out, and I’m sorry you-‘

‘Hey, hey, hey, Tyler.’ His dad says, interrupting him. ‘None of this is your fault. And as much as I would have wanted you to come out in your own terms, at least you don’t have to hide anymore, right?’ His father adds. ‘Is Josh with you?’

‘Yeah… Yeah he’s right there, you’re on speaker.’

‘Oh hi Josh. How are you doing?’

‘I’m doing just fine, thank you for being understanding.’

‘Tyler, you have nothing to be ashamed of, alright sweetheart? It’s a beautiful picture.’

‘Thanks, dad.’ And for a while, neither of them says anything but Tyler still isn’t satisfied. He knows he won’t be able to rest until he knows how his mom took the news. ‘What… What about mom?’

His dad remains completely silent and for a few seconds, Tyler thinks he didn’t hear the question but then his dad lets out a small sigh and he can soon feel his heartbeats speeding up and the panic rising up in his chest once again.

‘D-Dad?’

‘She was concerned. She still is. She’s scared of your reputation. She… She didn’t take it too well.’

‘Is she here? Can you put her on, please?’

‘I don’t know if she wants to talk to you.’ His father confesses, and Tyler can feel a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

‘Please, dad. Tell her I need to speak with her.’

For a few seconds, all Tyler can hear is snatches of conversation. He can vaguely distinguish the voice of his mother and even though he doesn’t understand what she’s saying, just hearing her voice makes him cry a little more. But then, she’s speaking to him directly and Tyler tries his hardest to hold back the tears.

‘Tyler.’ His mom simply says, emotionless.

‘Mom, I’m… I’m sorry about everything but please, try to understand, I-’

‘How could you've been so reckless, Tyler? Did you even think of your image? Of your reputation? Look how far you’ve come! You worked so hard to reach this moment and now you’re ready to sacrifice everything? And that only for a random love story?’

Tyler doesn’t say anything at first, and is just sitting there, trying to process what his mom has just told him. And soon enough, the panic is replaced by anger and Tyler can’t stay silent anymore, listening to his mom deploring all his life choices.

‘Mom… Can you even hear yourself talking? This is not just a random love story. I love him. I’m in love with him. We’ve been dating for two years, and I think It’s the first time I can see myself with someone in the long term. This is serious, Mom.’

These words have already come out of his mouth when he realizes what he has just said in front of Josh. He has just indirectly made him understand that he could see a future with him, that he really wanted this relationship to last. He says nothing for a while, and when he looks up at Josh, this one is only staring at him, his eyes sparkling with joy. And for a few minutes, he almost forgets about his mom and only stares back at him, mirroring his smile.

‘I know you love him.’ His mom says, a little bit calmer.’ And I like him too. I do. But you should know better. You could find someone else in a blink of an eye, Tyler. Someone more appropriate.’

‘Yeah, like a girl?’ Tyler snaps at her. ‘You don’t understand, mom. I don’t want to find somebody else. I’m happy with how things are, and I don’t want to hide anymore. I get that you didn’t want me to come out like this, but I’m not going to choose between him and my career. He makes me happy, mom, and I’m sorry he’s not a girl, but maybe you should start to get over it. Cause I’m not gonna change who I am just for your own convenience.’

‘Then, at least, pretend to date someone else to keep up appearances. Pretend to break up with him, you two could still manage to see each other in secret. I’m sure Josh will understand. He’s a smart kid.’

‘Yes, I am, Mrs Joseph.’ Josh says abruptly. ‘And so is your son. He’s a grown up who can take his own life decisions. And for what it’s worth, I love him too and I don’t plan on going anywhere. Your son is the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope that someday, you’ll stop thinking less of him because of his sexuality. Until then, we will deal with this together, as a couple, with or without your help.’ Josh concludes, hanging up.

They both stay silent for a while, Tyler is speechless and is both disappointed about his mom’s reaction and moved by Josh’s sudden boost of confidence.

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh finally says. ‘I couldn’t help it. She… She made me so angry, but maybe I shouldn’t have lashed out at her like this.’

Tyler says nothing for a few seconds and eventually rushes forward to lock his lips with Josh’s. This one sounds surprised but still places his two hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks to pull him closer.

‘I love you.’ Tyler says. ‘Thank you for sticking up for me.

‘Always.’

Tyler’s cell phone rings once again and he takes it with a shaky hand, to see the two new messages, one coming from his dad, and the other from his brother Zack. This one had also tried to call him a few times and Tyler promises himself to call him back as soon as he can.

_From: Dad. ‘Tyler, don’t listen to your mom. You’re just fine the way you are, and I’m happy you’ll be able to live an open life with Josh from now on. He’s a keeper. Just know you have my full support, and please don’t be mad at your mom. She’s just scared. I’ll try and talk some sense into her.’_

_From: Zack. ‘We heard the conversation you had with mom, and we just wanted you to know that we’re there if you need to talk. People calling you out for this are assholes, screw them. Plus, Josh is pretty cool and Jay says he wants you two to stay together cause he’s always bringing him cool gifts from the countries he’s visiting for his work. We love you, bro.’_

Tyler laughs a little at this and Josh is soon doing the same. He wishes his mom could understand him, but he already feels so lucky to have such a supportive father, brothers and sister. He knows he can count on them and he hopes his mom will change her mind.

‘I’m sorry about your mom, Tyler.’ Josh says with a sad smile.

‘It’s okay, Josh.’ He answers, sadly. ‘I mean, of course it’s not okay. I wish it could be different but I… I suspected it. I really hope she’ll understand, someday. But from now on, I have my father, I have Zack, Madison, and Jay. And I have you. I’m lucky.’

‘I’m so proud of you, Tyler. For staying positive, and optimistic.’

‘Yeah, well, I may be influenced by the handsome man you are. Now, can we make out some more please?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know why I decided to start all those chaptered fics at the same time, I'm tiring myself out. Anyway, hope you'll like it, please tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Day 5.

Tyler is sitting at a cafe, right next to the Sydney Opera. He knows Josh has always loved his place and that’s why he asked him to go there this morning. He wanted to have an alone time with him before heading back to the hotel to call his manager. He’s not looking forward to that part but he tries not to think about it too much for now.

‘What are you thinking of?’ Josh asks after a while.

‘It’s just not how I imagined our vacation.’ Tyler answers with a weak smile. ‘I mean, I really wanted to have some time with you. And now I just need to deal with all of this. It’s frustrating.’

‘Hey… You’re on a break, anyway. We’ll be able to take some time off. I need to go to Greece in two days, but maybe you could come with me? I need to meet some clients but I’ll have a lot of free time. What do you say?’

‘Yeah… I’d really like that.’ Tyler says, smiling.

‘Good. You need to rest a little bit, yeah?’

Josh is placing his hand on Tyler’s and this one can’t help but to smile a little bit more. He has always been so careful not to be too affectionate in public, but now everybody knows about the two of them, he feels relieved, free and true to himself. He has always felt like he was lying, to the people around him, to the fans, but mostly to himself. And now he’s sitting at a cafe with his boyfriend and he doesn’t have to pretend this one is any less than that. He can show it. He can say it. Loud and clear. And so he just bends forward and puts his right hand on Josh’s cheek to press their lips together. He doesn’t care if people are watching them, doesn’t care if people even recognize him. He just feels happy he gets to experience this with Josh. This one seems surprised for a few seconds but then a large smile appears on his face and Tyler finds himself thinking that it’s all so worth it.

‘I’m so stupid.’ Tyler says, out of the blue. ‘Why didn’t I come out before? You were there, right in front of me, this whole fucking time, and I just… I don’t understand why I didn’t choose to come out before. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to make you wait two years for this. And if it wasn’t for this picture, I would still be… I would still be hiding, Josh. I’m such a coward.’

‘Hey… Don’t be too hard on yourself, Tyler. It can be scary, especially when you’re famous, and when thousands of people look up to you.’

‘Yeah but…’

‘But now we’re there, we’re together, that’s all that matters, okay? There’s no need to blame yourself.’

Just when Tyler was about to answer, he can see someone slowly walking towards their table. It’s a man, who must be in his early twenties, and by the way he’s smiling at him, Tyler knows it’s a fan. Some of them have the weirdest reactions when they see him but he learned to get used to it. He’s still taken aback and as much stressed as they are but he understands and tries to get over his own fear.

But today is not the same. He’s with Josh, his picture was just spread all over the internet and he feels more scared than usual. He doesn’t know how this fan will react and although he’s almost convinced most of them will support him, he can’t help but to be apprehensive. But he doesn’t have time to think about it that the man is already standing by the side of their table. Tyler looks up at him and smiles a little bit when he sees that this one is wearing his merch. The fan looks like he’s about to say something but closes his mouth the second after, staying quiet.

‘Hi’ Tyler says, smiling.

‘Hello.’ The guy answers with a shaky voice. He’s clearly nervous and Tyler can’t help but to let out a small laugh at this. ‘Shit.’ the fan adds, and this time, both Tyler and Josh laugh. They’re not making fun of him, Tyler would never do that, because he knows what it’s like. He was just like them when he was meeting his favorite bands back when he was younger.

‘I’m sorry If I’m so weird.’ The fans goes on, smiling shyly at him.

‘You’re doing just fine.’ Tyler says, trying to reassure him.

‘I was just walking down the street and then… then I saw you, and I couldn’t just… You know. I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.’ And this time, the fan is mostly looking at Josh.

‘You’re not.’ This one instantly answers, and Tyler smiles at him. Josh has always been very understanding, ever since he met him two years ago. ‘What’s your name?’ Josh asks.

‘Austin.’

‘Do you want me to take a picture of the two of you?’ Josh offers, and the fan only nods before placing himself next to Tyler who doesn’t really hesitate to puts an arm around his shoulder, smiling at the camera.

‘Are they okay? Do you want to take one more?’ Tyler asks.

‘No… No they’re just fine. Thank you so much.’ Austin says. ‘Before I go, I just wanted to tell you… Your music is very important to me… I was going through a hard time two years ago and… Yeah. Your songs gave me so much hope. So thank you for that. And for what’s it worth… I know it’s not my place but… I’m happy for the two of you. Sorry if it’s weird.’

‘It’s not. Thank you.’ Tyler answers, still smiling. ‘I’m glad you feel better now. Were you at the show in Sydney?’

‘Oh yes. It was outstanding.’ Austin says. ‘Well, I… I should go. Sorry for the bother.’

‘You didn’t bother us. It was nice to meet you, Austin.’

‘See?’ Josh says, once Austin is no longer able to hear them. ‘Told you they would be fine with it.’

‘It’s only one of them, Jish.’ Tyler points out, laughing.

‘Still. Your fanbase is very loyal, kinda crazy too, sometimes I’m scared, but the thing is, I don’t think you have to worry about them.’

‘You’re probably right.’ Tyler admits. ‘I should head back… And call Will. I don’t plan on getting murdered by my manager. But you can stay there, If you want to.’

‘I’m coming with you.’

‘Okay.’

Thirty minutes later, they’re back in the hotel, and Tyler is facing his phone, about to call Will. This one tried to call him thirty more times since yesterday morning and he’s really scared to face him. It’s been fifteen minutes since he’s looking at his number and he still hasn’t done anything. Will has always been very open-minded and he knew about his bisexuality for a long time but he also is the least patient man Tyler knows and making him wait for four days to call him back was probably a huge mistake. And now, he has to deal with the consequences.

Josh has locked himself in the bathroom to give him some privacy and Tyler takes a deep breath before pressing on the number with his finger.

‘Tyler, what the fuck?!’ His manager instantly answers.

‘Hey Will.’

‘You better have a damn good excuse because I swear to god, I’m going to fucking kill you! What the fuck took you so long?’

Will has always been vulgar, for as long as Tyler can remember, and it doesn’t help him being more relaxed. If anything, it only makes him more nervous than he already is. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds but he quickly pulls himself together, knowing it would only make things worse if he stays quiet.

‘I’m sorry.’ He says.

‘I don’t care how sorry you are, Tyler! For christ’s sake, do you know how many people called me to have more information about this fucking picture? What were you thinking?’

‘Listen, I freaked out, okay? I freaked out real bad and I needed some time to figure it out. I didn’t know what I should do and not to be a jerk, but you can be very loud, calling you would only have made things worse.’

‘Well, I’m sorry for being so _loud_ and having to deal with your fucking drama.’

‘Come on, Will, you know I didn’t mean it like that. And you knew about Josh, you knew it would happen at some point.’

‘I didn’t think you were stupid enough to kiss him in the middle of the fucking street! Surely there were more suitable ways to come out!’

‘Okay, you know what? This conversation is pointless. If you want to blame me for what happened, fine, I know I should have been more discreet, but either you’re helping me and telling me what I should do or I’m hanging up _right now_.’

The call goes silent for a few seconds and Tyler can feel Will is still very mad but tries to hold his tongue. He’s pacing back and forth in his hotel room and repeatedly runs his right hand in his hair, patiently waiting for his manager to say something. But this one is still quiet after a while and Tyler decides to speak again.

‘I’m sorry.’ He says, sighing. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier, I’m sorry for being so reckless, I’m sorry about the picture. I know I fucked up. But it’s done now, and I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m happy with how things are, so what do you think I should do? Post something official to confirm the picture? Give an interview? Stay silent about the whole thing?’

‘Well if you want to be open about your relationship with Josh, it would be better to say something. If you don’t, it would seem weak and everyone would call you a coward. Your public image is not ruined, people are on your side. But you definitely should post something to confirm the rumors, say you’re dating Josh. It doesn’t have to be long, but you have a way with words so I trust you on this. Show them that you’re not ashamed, that you’re proud, that you don’t want to pretend to be someone you’re not anymore. Just be sincere, you know? Say what you feel. Honesty is key.’

Tyler only hums in agreement and is about to say something but Will cuts him off to continue in his direction.

‘I honestly think it would make you look good. With everything’s that going on lately, you can see people are starting to change, they’re more open minded.’

‘Yeah. You’re probably right.’ Tyler says.

‘I mean it, Tyler. I’m here talking about strategical decisions, but it’s mostly about you. About what you feel. I’m very happy you finally feel confident enough to be true to yourself.’

‘Thanks, Will. That… That means a lot.’ Tyler answers, a little hesitantly. Their relationship mostly stays professional and he’s not used to receive any kinds of encouragements or compliments.

‘Yeah. You don’t need to give any interviews. I know you don’t really like them, and your post will instantly be spread everywhere, anyway.’

‘Okay. I’ll do that some time during the week. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll keep you updated.’

With that, Tyler hangs up and throws his phone on his bed. He has thought Will would be much more angry than that, and he feels a little more relieved to see that this one seemed pretty optimistic about the whole thing. He realizes now that he has let himself get worked up a lot more than necessary and all of it because he has been scared to be true to himself. He has been scared to be comfortable with who he was, to let the whole world know he was bisexual and dating a guy. It hasn’t been about the others. It has been about himself the whole time.

But not anymore. He’s still scared about people’s reactions, but he feels so much more at ease with himself now this picture has been spread in the whole world. A large smile stretches his lips and when Josh gets out of the bathroom with his dark and wet hair, he doesn’t really know what pushes him but he runs towards him and throws himself into his arms.

‘What the-’ Josh grips the handle of the door just in time to avoid falling down backwards. He then places his two hands under Tyler’s thighs and looks up at him, smiling. ‘I’m guessing this went well?’

‘It did. He was mad at first but then we talked things through. I’m going to make an announcement. Tomorrow. I can’t wait to let the whole world know I’m dating you.’

‘You’re such a sap.’ Josh answers, though his smile only gets bigger.

‘Have you ever been told that you’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute?’ Tyler asks and smiles when Josh bursts out laughing, before kissing him on the nose.

‘Isn’t it a line from some cheesy movie?’

‘Maybe? I doesn’t matter, it fits you.’ Tyler adds, and rushes forward to lock their lips together with a passionate kiss. ‘I will only do the announcement if you’re okay with it, though.’ He suddenly says, with a serious voice.

‘Ty, I’ve been waiting for you to do that since we started dating, of course I’m okay with it.’

‘It was about damn time, then.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this chapter sucks but I hope you liked it anyway. Sorry for being so slow on my other fics, I'm tired and sick.   
> And since the title comes from a Panic! song, I should ask: What do you think about PRAY FOR THE WICKED? I'm listening to this album on repeat and it definitely helps with Twenty One Pilots being gone for so long.   
> Anyway, see you!


	6. Chapter 6

Day 6.

Tyler slowly opens his eyes, and places his hand on the other side of the bed, just like he does every single morning when Josh is sleeping by his side. Only, this time, his hand lands on the flat surface of the mattress and not on Josh’s torso. He frowns for a bit and turns around, only to find Josh’s side of the bed empty. For a few minutes, he can’t help but to feel scared and the beats of his heart speed up, but then, he catches side of a torn piece of paper and he slowly takes it in his hand, browsing it with his eyes.

_‘Tyler,_

_Only went for a run. I’ll be back at around noon._

_Enjoy your breakfast._

_Love you tons._

_J.’_

He can’t help but to smile a little bit at these words and when he looks up, a tray full of toasts, pancakes and fried eggs is waiting for him. He takes small bites of everything but doesn’t feel very hungry so he quickly decides to leave it for Josh who, he knows that for a fact, will be hungry when he will come back for his run.

He bends over to reach some new clothes but wrinkles his nose when he realizes that most of them smells terribly bad. He’s been so busy with the tour and the endless shows, and then, with the picture and all the consequences coming along that he hasn’t had any time to take care of his clothes, not that he usually finds the time to do so, but he, at least, tries to wear something that doesn’t stink to high heaven, with a lot of perfume to cover the smell.

He’s about to wash some of his jeans and tee-shirts by hands when his eyes fall on Josh’s suitcase. He knows his boyfriend is way more organized, well-groomed and meticulous than he is, although his job doesn’t really let him the choice. He quickly picks a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt, locking himself in the bathroom to take a quick shower.

It’s only when the water is running along his body that he allows himself to wonder about every single scenarios that his official announcement about his relationship with Josh could provoke. He’s always been a pretty pessimistic person and so his mind is mostly reviewing the worst case scenarios but he knows that except for his mom’s reactions, people around him have been way more open-minded that he thought they would be in the first place. And from all the people he had to be honest with, his fans were the ones he trusted the most. It wasn’t rare for him to see the pride flag in his shows and he has always made it clear that he fully supported the LGBTQ+ community, it could only mean that his fans would do the same for him, or at least, that’s what Tyler is trying to convince himself when he steps out of the shower.

When he gets back in the room, freshly cleaned and dressed, Josh still hasn’t came back for his run, and Tyler quickly looks up at the window to try and see if he can find him going up the street. He knows this one is always used to run for a long time when he has something in mind. But Tyler always worries too much and when he hears the door of the hotel room being opened with an abrupt gesture and when he sees the large smile of his boyfriend, he knows there is nothing to be scared about.

‘Hi!’ He says with a small smile. ‘How was your run?’

‘Good. Sorry I’m a little late. My parents called me on the way back. They were asking me about the picture.’

‘How did they take it?’

‘Pretty well. And they love you, so they weren’t really worried. Just curious.’

Tyler only nods in response and quickly kisses him on the lips, still being careful to keep a reasonable distance because Josh is drenched in sweat and he just took a shower.

‘Is it my jumper?’ Josh asks, smiling. ‘And my shorts, too?’

‘It is. And your underwear too.’ He adds, while showing him a part of his boxer briefs.

‘Are you at least wearing something that is actually yours?’

‘Hum… My socks? These are my socks.’ Tyler says, smiling when Josh lets out a small laugh. ‘My clothes are all gross, and I was too tired to wash them by hand.’

‘More like too lazy.’

‘Touché.’ Tyler says, smiling even more than a few seconds ago. ‘You mind?’

‘Not at all. It’s not the first time. Plus, you look hot in them.’ Josh asks while taking new clothes from his bag. ‘But this afternoon, we’re going shopping.’ He adds, before locking himself in the bathroom.

Tyler lets out a muffled laugh and lowers his head towards the ground, unable to suppress the smile appearing on his face. He was already pretty sure Josh might be the one before they were caught kissing in the middle of the bus station, but since this picture has been spread all over the internet, he just feels so much more confident. It’s like he missed all the fun of what an open loving relationship could mean and represent, and he discovers all of the benefits that go along only for the past few days.

He takes a sit on his bed and takes his phone with an abrupt gesture, trying to gather all of his strength before activating the WiFi and opening his Twitter application. He hasn’t been on any social media since he saw this awful tag five days ago, and he’s quite nervous to see if people are still writing disrespectful comments on the picture, or if they already moved on to something else. As usual, a thousand notifications appear on his screen and Tyler smiles a little bit when he sees that most of them are from his fans asking other people to  respect his privacy.

He finally decides to close it, feeling he has seen enough, and wonders if now is a good time to post an official announcement about the picture and his relationship with Josh. Although he feels quite good at this very moment, or at least much better than five days ago, the knot in his stomach is still there, reminding him that there is still one thing to do, and that he won’t feel perfectly at ease until he has made things clear. He takes a deep breathe and realizes he can’t wait any longer. He chooses the picture the paparazzo took and his eyes stare at the empty text area before finally deciding to write something.

_‘I guess you all saw this picture by now. Needless to say it was taken without my consent. But I’m not here to blame anyone. This is not what I’m trying to do here._

_This picture has made me think about some aspects of my life. Some aspects I was too scared to share with you all.  I consider myself to be privileged: I’m a ‘well-known’ artist as I was lucky enough to make a living from my passion (And it’s only thanks to you, guys), I get to travel the world and meet wonderful people every single day, I have a loving family and supportive friends. And yet I was still scared to be genuinely and perfectly true to myself. If there is one thing that this picture taught me, it is that I shouldn’t be ashamed or scared of who I am. None of us should._

_So here it is: I am bisexual, this is a picture of me and my boyfriend Josh, and I may be very much in love with him. I met him in a cafe, back in my home-town in Columbus, and we’ve been dating in secret for two years._

_For too long I hid my love life to the eyes of everyone and lived in a lie. Not anymore. From now on, I will be as loud and as affectionate as I want to be, no matter what people have to say._

_I will appreciate if you respect my privacy and support my life decisions. If not, go on your way, and I’ll go mine._

_See you soon with new music. Let me rest and enjoy these next few weeks with Josh first. I don’t get to see him often, this explains my outburst of affection in this bus station._

_As for now, look out for each other |-/’_

As soon as he posts the picture on his Instagram account, he can already see thousands of comments flowing on his screen, and he quickly locks his phone, putting it on his bedside table. He’s too scared to read them. Josh is still in the bathroom and Tyler sits there, gazing into space, trying to imagine his fans’ reactions. His mom hasn’t called him back yet, and he didn’t try to contact her since he had her on the phone two days ago. His dad asked him to be patient, and he’s trying, but coming out to the whole world without having the support of your own mother is so much more complicated than he imagined. He’s trying to play it cool around Josh, trying to make him believe that he doesn’t really care about her reaction, and he wishes he would be able not to care. But he does. He does, so much. He’s always been close to his mother, and her opinion always meant the world to him. And he knows that this time, she’s wrong. But he can’t help but feel heartbroken. Because he can’t think of a future without his mum in it.

He doesn’t have time to think about it any longer because Josh opens the bathroom’s door and Tyler tries to smile at him but he’s convinced that it must look more like a grimace. And when Josh frowns and gives him a concerned look, he knows he’s right.

‘Are you alright?’

And really, Tyler could tell him that even though he’s happy with how things turned out, there is still a part of him which is freaking out about the future, but he’s so sick to be the center of attention that he just shrugs his shoulders.

‘Yeah. I’m fine.’ He says. He knows he can’t hide anything from Josh and that he’s probably the worst liar of this planet and so he shouldn’t be surprised when Josh repeats his question another time.

‘Tyler… What’s going on?’ He asks.

‘Nothing.’ He says, smiling. ‘We’re leaving tomorrow for Greece, we should pack.’ He adds, taking his bag to place it on the bed. He has always been a bit messy and he isn’t surprised when he realizes that his stuff is everywhere in the room and so he starts picking them up and gathering them together. His hands are shaking as he puts his clothes in his bag, and when Josh places one of his hands on his shoulder, he doesn’t say anything and goes on packing.

‘Ty…’

‘I’m fine, Josh.’

‘No, you’re not. Talk to me.’ He repeats while placing his two hands on his wrists, stopping his movements.

‘I’m fine.’ But his voice is already a little bit broken.

‘You’re not.’

‘I am.’ He repeats but doesn’t try to move away when Josh takes him in his arms. ‘I did it.’ He finally says. ‘I posted something on Instagram. But I’m too scared to see people’s reactions.’

‘Is it what makes you nervous?’

‘I’m sorry I’m such a mess.’ He answers and bursts into tears another time, burying his face into his neck. ‘I couldn’t look at the comments. I just… I wish my mum could be okay with everything.’

‘I know. And I think she will. This came as quite a shock to her. Just give her time, okay? You wanna look at the comments together? And then, we can pack and get ready for tomorrow morning.’

‘Okay.’ Tyler says, while nodding. ‘Can you watch it first and tell me if they’re good?’

‘Of course.’

Tyler watches Josh as he takes his cell-phone in his hands and waits for him to open his Instagram application. It can’t stop vibrating and Tyler smiles a little bit when Josh opens his eyes wide, probably not used to this kind of things. He watches him as he reads the text he posted first and can’t help but to smile when this one likes the picture in front of him, and Josh looks up at him after a few seconds, with tears in his eyes.

‘Was it too much?’ Tyler instantly asks, worried.

‘It was perfect. You’re amazing. And I’m not the only one who think that.’ He adds, handing him the phone.

And as Tyler’s eyes fall on the screen, a large smile appears on his face. There are thousands and thousands of comments. And all he can see is respect, tolerance, and love. He can feel tears gathering up in his eyes once again and he places one of his hands over his eyes, giving the phone back to Josh who types something very fast, and Tyler’s smile can’t get any bigger when he reads his comment.

 

_‘I may be in love with you too.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is absolute shit. There is only one chapter left! If anyone reads 'The World Is Getting Stranger', I'll try to update it during the week, but no promises!


	7. Chapter 7

_Day 7._

They’re in Greece. Josh is away with some clients and Tyler decided to stay in the hotel room. He can feel it’s finally the end of the drama caused by this picture and he’s already more at peace with himself. He looked at the comments on the social medias this morning, and all of them have been mostly supportive. Of course, some people are being narrow-minded and are already insulting him, saying he doesn’t deserve any of his success, calling him names, and doing everything they can to undermine him. He would be lying if he said that those comments didn’t scare him a little, but he’s trying to stay positive. He knew it would happen, and that it was nearly impossible to receive the support from everyone, but it doesn’t seem that his fans are going anywhere, and that’s probably the most important part. He even has received some kind comments from celebrities and artists he’s friend with and Tyler’s heart is full.

He’s in the swimming pool, now. The hotel is quite luxurious and they’re here for a week, so might as well enjoy it. He is officially on hiatus and he decided he would stay away from the social medias. They’re only stressing him out more than he already is and taking a break from them can only do him some good. It’s Josh, who suggested it, after seeing him being nervous because of the few negative comments he has received this morning.

He swam some lengths for half an hour and now he’s just seated on one of the steps in the water, enjoying the sun, and trying to clear his head. His mom hasn’t called him back yet, but at this point, Tyler knows she probably needs more time, to realize that she has nothing to worry about and that his son only received support from his fans and from the people around him.

Soon enough, he’s stepping out of the pool and goes back to their hotel room, letting go of his swimsuit. He’s about to get in the bathroom when the door is being wide opened by Josh whose eyes instantly fall on Tyler’s naked body.

‘Well, _that_ is a nice way to welcome me.’

‘Shut up.’ Tyler says, blushing.

‘How come I still manage to make you blush after two years of relationship?’

‘Well maybe because you’re always being your hot charming self.’

At this point, Josh’s smile can’t get any bigger and he’s walking towards him to press a quick kiss on his lips. He slowly places his two hands on the back of Tyler’s neck and maybe it’s a little cliche to say this but even after this large amount of time spent on Josh’s side, this one is still making him feel weak at the knees.

‘How are you doing, today?’ Josh asks, gently.

‘Fine. You were right. About social medias. I think I need to take a break from them for a while.’

‘Yeah. Do that. Your fans will get it.’

‘Yeah.' Tyler only answers. 'I’ll go and take a shower. Be right back.’ Tyler says, smiling.

‘Go. I’ll be right there. I’m done for the day, anyway. Maybe we can take a walk in the city this afternoon?’

‘Yeah. I’d like that.’ Tyler answered while locking himself in the bathroom.

He let himself relax as water rains down on him and he only steps out half an hour later, smiling when he sees Josh seated on the bed, in deep concentration on something he seems to be reading on his phone. This one still looks up at Tyler and gives him a warm smile before getting back to his cell-phone.

‘What is it?’ Tyler asks.

‘Just my boss. Saying he saw the picture and wishing us all the best.’

‘That’s nice of him. I was kinda scared people would give you shit for it.’

‘Nah. Don’t worry about it. He was the only one to know but I’ve only received sweet comments about it.’

‘That’s good.’ Tyler says, taking a seat next to him, and placing one of his hands on Josh’s knee. ‘How was your meeting?’

‘It went very well! They seem convinced, my boss is happy so I’m happy.’ Josh says.

Tyler smiles at him and gets up, drying his hair with a towel he takes from his bag. His hair is quite long, but he doesn’t plan on cutting it anytime soon because he’s too lazy to do it and he also knows Josh likes it that way. He’s about to enter the bathroom to clean his mess a little bit when Josh’s voice resonates around the room.

‘Ty, can you give me my USB stick? It must be on my inner pocket of my grey jacket.’

Tyler looks around and takes the jacket still placed on the sofa. He reaches the pocket but what he sees in it makes his heart skips a beat. It’s not a USB stick. It’s a red little box. He stays silent for a few seconds, trying to convince himself that it can’t be what he thinks it is, but then, curiosity gets the best of him and he opens it with a shaking hand.

It’s a grey engagement band, and Tyler could cry at how beautiful it is.

‘Hum… Josh?’ He says, with a fragile voice.

‘Yeah? Can’t you find it?’ He asks, his eyes still on his phone.

‘Well, I found something but… But it’s not your USB stick.’ He says.

Josh frowns for a few seconds but quickly looks up at Tyler, and the expression of his face instantly changes. Tyler watches him as he opens his eyes wide and he can’t help but to feel a little bit guilty when pure panic crosses his boyfriend’s face.

‘I’m sorry.’ Tyler says. ‘I didn’t mean to… But you said, ‘inner pocket.’.

Josh stays completely silent for a few seconds, opening his mouth as if he’s about to say something but closing it soon after. Tyler watches him for a while, not knowing what to do. This isn’t the reaction he has been expecting and Josh looks more anxious than ever. This one suddenly gets up and runs his hands through his hair in panic.

‘Fuck.’ He says. ‘Shit.’ He adds. ‘I’m sorry. I just…’

‘Hey, hey, hey, Josh.’ Tyler says, placing his right hand on the back of his neck. ‘Look at me.’

Tears have rolled down Josh’s cheeks and Tyler quickly wipes them with his thumbs, waiting for him to look up at him to speak again.

‘Here you are.’ He adds with a smile. ‘It’s okay. What’s going on?’

‘I just… I didn’t want you to find out this way.

‘Well I did.’ He says with a small smile. ‘Why does it make you so scared, J?’

‘Because I know you’re going to say no!’ Josh says, letting go of Tyler’s embrace.

‘I’m gonna say no?’ Tyler repeats, confused.

‘Of course, you are.’ Josh answers, crying. ‘I had planned to propose to you for three weeks now.’ He adds, taking a seat on the bed, avoiding Tyler’s eyes. ‘I wanted to do it in Columbus, just before you left for Sydney. But… I don’t really know how we’ve ended up talking about it, but you told me you didn’t care about marriage. So, I just… I just backed out, you know. Then, I thought I could try again. I thought maybe you would say yes. That the fact that you didn’t care about marriage didn’t mean you wouldn’t want to marry me. But… But then, the picture happened, and you were so stressed about the whole thing, you already had so much on your plate, I didn’t want to… I didn’t want you to deal with something else. People didn’t even know we were dating, I don’t know why I decided that proposing to you would be a good idea in the first place.’

Tyler was listening to him with so much attention, and he could already feel the tears gathering in his eyes. He remembers the discussion they had over breakfast three weeks ago. It’s true he doesn’t care about marriage, he never really saw the point, and he’s always believed that if he was ever about to marry someone, it would only be for the papers. He was wrong.

‘You’re right.’ He says, after a few seconds. ‘I don’t care about marriage.’

‘I know.’ Josh answers with such a broken voice Tyler can’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

‘But I care about you.’ He adds, and Josh slowly looks up, confused.

‘I... I know you do, but… What does it have to do with it?’

‘It has everything to do with it, Josh.’ Tyler says,

He crouches down on one knee in front of Josh, and slowly opens the box with a small smile. He can see Josh opening his eyes wide and he can’t help but to smile a little bit at how his boyfriend still seems to be surprised about what he’s about to do.

‘Josh, I know I’m probably the shittiest boyfriend ever.’

‘Don’t say that.’ Josh instantly cuts him off with a small smile.

‘No, Josh, stop being so gentle with me all the time, okay? Ever since I met you, I haven’t always been good to you, I know that, and I’m sorry. For the past two years, you had to deal with my shitty mood swings and I know for a fact that I must be really hard to deal with from time to time. I have such a bad temper, I’m easily offended, I’m perfectionist and I’m so extremely sensitive and never have I heard you complaining about it. Not once. You’re the sweetest guy I know, and I’m amazed by the way you’re always trying to see the good in people. Even the worst ones. You’re so big-hearted, Josh, and I really wish you could know exactly how I feel about you, but no words would do my feelings justice. I meant every word when I said I wouldn’t be half the man I was if it wasn’t for you. You made me a better person, a more authentic and a more hopeful one too. I have more faith than ever and it’s all thanks to you. I love you, Josh, to the moon and back, more than you could possibly imagine, and I promise you I’m going to spend the rest of my life to try and be worthy of you.’

Josh has placed one of his hands over his eyes and Tyler doesn't need to see him to know he's crying. He has lowered his shoulders and his whole body is shaking from his sobs. Tyler himself is crying because he knows it’s probably the first time Josh lets go of everything in front of him. His throat hurts from holding back his sobs and he doesn’t wait any longer to speak.

‘Joshua William Dun, I know I said I didn’t care about marriage but the last thing I’m afraid of is to declare my undying love for you. So, if you would do me the honors of saying yes, you would easily make me the happiest and luckiest guy on earth.’ Tyler finally says. ‘So… What do you say?’

Josh is only crying harder and he just nods a few times without saying anything before wrapping his arms on his boyfriend’s neck. Tyler’s smile only gets bigger and he places his own arms around Josh’s waist, running his left hand through his black hair.

‘I love you so much.’ Josh says in between sobs and Tyler doesn’t say anything but he only hugs him a little tighter, allowing him to bury his face in the crook of his neck.

‘Is that a yes, then, sweetheart?’

‘Yeah. Of course I’ll marry you.’ Josh says, letting go of his embrace, and quickly adds something when Tyler gets ready to put the ring on his finger. ‘It’s your ring size… Not mine.’ He adds. ‘Sorry.’

‘Way to ruin the moment.’ Tyler says, laughing.

Josh himself lets out a small laugh and takes the ring in his hand to put it on his soon-to-be-husband finger, and as Tyler’s eyes fall on the few words engraved on the inner part of the band, his heart is suddenly filled with love.

 

_Amor Vincit Omnia_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Sorry for the long wait. I personally think this story is quite bad but I hope you liked it.  
> Two questions: 1. Would you be interested in reading some follow-up fics?  
> 2\. I can't totally understand the difference between marriage and wedding, we don't have two words in my language so I'm lost. Is it better to write marriage or wedding in this case? Thanks !
> 
> Also, for those reading The World Is getting stranger, I'll try to update during the next week but I'm on vacation the whole month of august and I wont have the internet. So maybe you'll have to wait a little bit, sorry.


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